This time of year brings about change for many of you. I find it fascinating that, as the weather starts to turn in September, and the outdoor world around us changes, we are also often navigating big transitions in our own lives. Kids start a new grade at school and many families have recently relocated, potentially leading to new jobs. Schedules and routines are changing, which often means a re-evaluation of one’s own goals (a second peak in this, after goals initially set as New Year’s resolutions).
If I were to ask you how stressed you currently are, and what is stressing you out, you would likely list for me the negative or difficult things currently happening in your life – for example, a conflict with your spouse/partner, misbehaving child, deadline at work, a medical problem, etc. However, life events that we generally see as positive can also be enormously stressful. So, some of the changes I mention above – things like a new job, a kid starting school, moving to a bigger house – all of which are pretty great, can prompt the same stress response as negative stressors. To get a sense as to how burdened you currently are by stress, take a few minutes to complete this survey.
Once you’ve completed the survey, think upon the following:
- What did you discover? Were you surprised with your result?
- When you hear the word “change,” what comes to mind? Make a list of words, concepts, and images.
- Review that list – do you seem to generally view change in positive and growthful ways, or are your words/images more consistent with anxiety or a desire to avoid change?
- Given all of this, do you wish to address the changes in your life, the stress resulting from these changes, and/or your ability to roll with change?
Keep in mind that everyone is different – everyone’s enjoyment of change, tendency to pursue change, and ability to stay resilient in the midst of change, is different, for a variety of reasons. In all likelihood, you’ve created a life for yourself that is consistent with your temperament and tendencies in regard to change. However, if you find yourself wanting to make different decisions regarding life changes or wishing to foster resiliency in the face of difficult changes, consider collaborating with a therapist.