I think one thing we can all agree on is how unfamiliar the world feels right now. Many people are feeling stuck for a lot of reasons that are out of our control:
Restricted movement because of stay-at-home and stay-safer-at-home orders
Feeling stuck in jobs or relationships that are undesirable or even toxic, but unable to make a change easily because of the pandemic
Not being able to make big decisions, in general, right now, and living day-by-day in a way that fosters anxiety
To some degree, all these things are necessary right now – but necessity doesn’t keep us from feeling helpless and stuck in the mire of our circumstances. There is a beautiful quote by Brittney Moses that applies: “you have to stop thinking that you’ll be stuck in your current situation forever. We feel like our hearts will never heal, or we’ll never get out of this impossible struggle. Don’t confuse a season, for a lifetime. Even your trials have an expiration date.”
So how do we help ourselves make the transition from feeling stuck and out of control to embracing the things we can control and taking meaningful steps forward? I have three solutions that can help!
Write a list of where you are now and where you want to be
Imagine this list as a map. You’re currently at point A, and there are stops along the way to get to your destination, point B. What are those stops? Are they signposts, obstacles, people or skills you need to pick up along the way? Write them down. If you’re feeling creative, draw yourself a map. Then, choose one step you can take on the path, right now.
Make a list of at least five of your core values
There is a great list here: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf. Once you’ve picked your core values, write a list of the five most important areas/roles in your life such as work, hobbies, being a spouse/partner/parent/child, etc). Then, ask yourself, “To what degree am I living according to my five core values, in each of these five areas?” Choose one value, in one area, to start working on now. Making progress toward valued living, in one area that is meaningful to you, will reduce that sense of feeling trapped.
Try something new and out of character for you
Maybe part of why you’re feeling stuck is because you are actually in a rut! When did you last try something new, or take a chance on being creative? What is something that you’ve always secretly wanted to try? Is there something a close friend has encouraged you to try, but you’ve been scared to take the leap? If there was ever a time to jump, it’s now. What is the worst that can happen? You could fail? Great! Failure means you tried something new, and you’re taking a chance on being curious and exploratory. If you’re trying some of these ideas, and need some extra support – or, if you’re stuck in a situation that is toxic or unsafe, consider speaking with a professional. They can help you navigate the steps to get over your hurdle and feel like you are thriving once more!