Building Motivation for Change
People seek out therapy for a variety of reasons. People also avoid seeking out therapy for many reasons. For some, the act of making a phone call or sending an e-mail to a potential therapist is near impossible, and involves numerous attempts before actually following through. Starting therapy is hard for a lot of reasons, but one common barrier is the struggle to build sufficient motivation to take the first step toward making a change.
Low motivation is a common feature of many life struggles, including depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, and stress. Since motivation is also linked to self-confidence, physical energy/health, and degree of social support, it’s vulnerable to shrinkage in relation to these factors, as well. The idea of “building motivation” is a catch-22 – how do we take action to build something that we require to take action?
Here are a few ways to build and strengthen your motivation to make the changes you want to make in your life:
Get inspired – Spend some time thinking about and envisioning the change you want to make. How will it improve your life? How will making this change help you feel about yourself? How will it lead to accomplishing your larger goals? Read about or talk to people who have done what you want to do. Write about, draw, or bullet journal your goal. Share it with a supportive and encouraging person in your life.
Find someone to help you hold yourself accountable – It’s a lot easier to lose motivation and momentum when we keep our ideas and goals to ourselves. No one’s excited with us and for us, no one is asking us how it’s going. Sometimes, we choose not to share our goals with others because we fear their reactions if we fail. However, failure is a bigger risk when we don’t get the right support in moving ourselves forward. The right support might be your significant other, close friend, parent or sibling, or a therapist. Here, I define the right support as the person who will encourage you and refrain from judging you when you falter or encounter barriers toward meeting your goal. Choose this person carefully.
Start small and be realistic – Take a second to think through goals you’ve set for yourself in the past, but haven’t followed through on. How reasonable were these goals? What kind of timeframe did you give yourself? While it’s important to have big goals, and to keep your eyes on the prize, over-focusing on the big picture won’t help you get there. Any major goal is comprised of many smaller goals, stepping stones that, when missed, can result in falling flat on your face. Change often requires patience – while you are unlikely to find that amazing new job overnight, you’ll greatly increase your chances of finding it if you break this goal into smaller steps – e.g., taking a resume and interview coaching class, building your skills and experience in a particular area, finding a mentor, etc.
Be successful – We’re more likely to continue building momentum for change if we experience successes early on. This relates to the previous tip of starting with small goals. Begin with small changes that you feel more confident about achieving, and savor that smell of success.
Reflect on accomplishments regularly – Take stock of your progress and successes on a regular basis. Write them down, share them with others, and pay special attention to how these accomplishments are making you feel, and how they’re changing your life.
Encourage and reward yourself – Practice being your own cheerleader or coach – give yourself pep talks, congratulate yourself, and find healthy ways to reward yourself for making steps toward your goals.
Don’t stop growing – Keep the momentum going! Once you’ve reached a goal, don’t stop there. Be mindful of what you learned about yourself during the process, and set a new goal. Your self-confidence will grow, and you’ll learn that you can trust yourself to follow through on what’s important to you.
There’s no reason to wait for the perfect time to move toward what you want. Go forth!