By this time in January each year, many of my clients share with me that they’re already losing sight of their new year’s resolutions. Of course, there’s a lot of negative self-judgment that goes along with that, much of it unwarranted. I’m all for symbols and metaphor – I use these a lot in my work – and the beginning of a new year is so very symbolic of new beginnings and fresh starts. In the case of new year’s resolutions, however, I think the symbolism often results in unrealistic expectations that can really only lead to a sense of failure.
Every year, I stay curious and experiment with new ways of capturing the energy and symbolism of the new year – alternatives to the idea of the RESOLUTION (which seems rigid, final, and closed-minded). This year, I’ve been pondering the idea of tone.
In music, tone often refers to the quality of sound, or a steady sound. Musical tone is complex, as it involves pitch, timbre, duration, and intensity. Tone also differs from instrument to instrument – in other words, two people may be singing the same note, in the same key, but sound very different because of tone.
When I work with clients in applying this idea to mental health and goal-setting, we discuss the following:
- What is the underlying tone you want to set for this year? In other words, what is the theme/idea that underlies what’s really important to you in your life right now? Some examples might be connection, meaning, activity, spirituality, creativity, innovation, etc.
- How does this tone resonate through different parts of your life? For example, if your tone for the year is creativity, how are you (or how can you) attend to this and build this at work, in your relationships, within yourself, in your home?
- How can you keep this tone steady? What challenges do you expect to arise and how can you move through them? How will you keep the tone steady when your energy is flagging, or when other people’s tones seem louder than yours?
Finally, be sure to find a way to reflect upon your tone and how it’s resonating in your life on a regular basis – maybe by journaling or sharing with a friend or therapist.
Happy Growing!