We at Ardern Psychology are passionate about supporting parents – especially moms – in this high-stress and high reward experience of helping tiny humans to grow. Over the next month or so, you’ll see some more posts dedicated to this topic, as well as some original content and resources related to peripartum health and wellness.
We’re used to hearing the term postpartum, which refers to the timeframe after birth happens, and you’ve most likely heard and read about postpartum depression. This term is outdated, and doesn’t do a great job in describing or validating many women’s experiences during pregnancy. You’ll see that we use the term peripartum instead, which reflects a shift in understanding that the emotional changes related to giving birth often begin prior to birth, and may extend for months post-birth. This is so important for many expectant moms and partners to know, and to observe for. We speak with many amazing mothers, who hide or minimize their emotional struggles during pregnancy, often due to societal expectations of what this time is supposed to be like.
Without thinking too much, take a moment to answer these questions:
- What are the main emotions pregnant women feel?
- What are the kinds of thoughts pregnant women have?
- When you find out someone you know is pregnant, what do you say? How does that change how you see that person?
Whether you have ever been pregnant or not, your answers to these questions are likely telling. In general, we expect pregnant women to be mostly excited – though many people would probably note there’s some fear or anxiety there, these emotions tend to be minimized in favor of eager anticipation. I’ve heard some expectant moms even share that they thought they would experience a deep calm, quiet, acceptance, like they see in movies or read about in books – and then thought there was something wrong when that quietude never came! While excitement and anxiety are often present, there is much more emotional complexity involved in being pregnant, anticipating birth, and preparing for a major role and identity shift in life. Relationships change, goals change, and especially for mothers, there is a fundamental change in identity that they’re often not prepared for. This begins as soon as pregnancy is visible – and the first thing anybody asks about in work or social situations is related to pregnancy and the baby. For many moms, it can feel like the beginning of a shift in (or loss of) self that feels scary, and is often hidden, due to guilt or shame. These are normal thoughts and experiences, and when explored toward a goal of self-care and wellness, can even be positive and growthful, contributing to more satisfying parenting experiences.
Providing a safe and open place to explore the variety of thoughts and feelings associated with pregnancy, birth, and parenthood is something we value deeply here at Ardern Psychology. As you begin or continue your own peripartum journey, check back with us, stay in touch, and reach out!